overwhelmed

Perhaps one of the things I failed to mention in my previous entry about the past eight months was about some of the changes I had to make regarding my church life. I took a five month leave from ministry work to fix some things. Well on the last day of 2011 my break ended and immediately after that I had to go back to what I've been doing in the past 20 plus years of my life.

It's only the second week of the month but I have to admit I'm a bit overwhelmed. I can't really pin point why. It may be because of the tons of work I need to do after being on break for a long time, or perhaps it's still because of my critical spirit that was made even more critical after sidelined, or maybe the fear of not meeting people's expectations of me and being rejected for not being good enough.

I know very well I'm not doing this to please people, I'm doing this because I love God and I love His people so I pray for God to reveal to me His will so that I my allow only His will to be done in my life. I pray for God to give me the right words to say to people so that I may only glorify His name and lift people up. I pray for God to give me a sensitive heart and open eyes to see things and find ways to bring people closer to God.

To be honest, although I may seem sure of myself, perhaps a lot of people may find me cocky and bossy in truth I feel really small. Who am I to be given this responsibility to make decisions for God's people? Who am I to be given the authority to influence how God's people will worship Him on Sundays? But I know God has placed me where I should be and it is my desire for Him to shine in my life.